IlonaProcessI have two stories tonight. One, this one, is of desire. Desire of and for the open sky of deep yellowing fields of too-long grass and…3 min read·Jul 23, 2021--1--1
IlonaTwo months since mummy died.Is what I wrote twelve plus twelve hours ago (and some), in a notebook I had dragged with me to the park, where I sat in the sun and cried…3 min read·Jun 6, 2021----
Ilonai suppose now is when i miss her mostLooking at the sinking branches of a weeping willow, I am reminded of Barthes, who wrote of the grief he bore after his own mother’s death…2 min read·May 31, 2021--1--1
IlonaWhen the talking stopsthe call of the cult of grief compels me to tug my little boat to the grainy shore and row back across the muddy waters to the day that…2 min read·May 13, 2021----
IlonaSome notes from walkingWalking with my father I notice that the trees are playing dress up with exploding puffs of blossom slipped on to spite the retreating…2 min read·Apr 23, 2021----
IlonaWhat do you do when they die?Some things I wrote down before my mother’s funeral1 min read·Apr 23, 2021----
IlonaLove love and love foreverAs I write, I feel keenly the unreal proportions of living. I am looking at my mother, who lies on a beige, many limbed bed in the centre…3 min read·Apr 1, 2021----
IlonaMother’s DayFive weeks ago, a palliative care doctor told me that my mother probably wouldn’t live for three weeks longer. She said that each night…2 min read·Mar 15, 2021----